Monday, November 21, 2005

You think I'd be grateful it's nearly 90 degrees today

Liliana is leaving for Seattle. Bah humbug. I'll miss her terribly, even if it isn't the end of the world.

No winning lottery ticket. No bf. Not even a handjob. Go go boy neighbor has 'em running in and out of his apartment at all hours of the night (thanks for slamming the door, kid). And secret crush neighbor has a very active (or is it passive?) --ahem-- social life that I can hear through the wall.

I should just write a chronicle of the doings in our building. Some of them would be too unbelieveable for any editor to accept...

Weird thing happened yesterday on my way home from the market. There was an empty one of those tiny plastic baggies (right outside the WeHo Sheriff's Station!) at the bus stop. The cute --and I do mean cute-- little puppy sitting next to me discovers it, and remarks that he's been off of the stuff for 15 days now, but he's starting to go a little stir crazy because he had no idea of how to fill the void. He was fully cognizant that it was the drug that was making him want the drug; he'd blocked the phone numbers of all of his [former] using friends. But work, the gym and the four walls of his apartment weren't doing it anymore.

How do these guys find me? From San Vicente to Highland, I listened, gave him some suggestions and places he could go for help. He said that the last time he was high, he tried to call the police to have them take him away, but they couldn't be bothered. He didn't sound like he wanted a residential program, but outpatient counseling or CMA sounded like it was something he could try and be successful with. I wished him good luck and offered encouragement as he got off the bus. He might not be an addict in the strictest sense of the definition, but trying to do it on his own, without a plan or guidance, was a recipe to slide deeper into the pit that he could see coming had he not stopped when he did.

So what was my trouble again?

Everytime I see a cute guy in a meeting for the first time, he turns out to be a newcomer. Everytime I see a see a cute guy outside of a meeting, he inevitably turns out to be off limits for one reason or another. I live with the dread that I've exhausted my lifetime supply of available men.

Ah, to be that young again... but with the foreknowledge of what was to come and the means to avoid it!



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