The affair between Ann Coulter and Ann Coulter will live as one of the prettiest love stories in literature ---with a nod to Dorothy Parker

I stayed up late last night to see Ann Coulter on the Tonight Show. Jay Leno was remarkably diplomatic in trying to get her to admit she had written something in her new book that had truly offended people. She wasn't having it. I have to say that I feel rather sad for her. Don't get me wrong-- look in the dictionary under bitch and you're likely to find her picture. Or, given her prevalence for those long, black dresses, under witch. And what's up with that hair? Is she rightfully afraid to have any gay man touch her coif or have all the salons in D.C. made a pact to screw with her head? Not that it isn't already pretty screwed-up to begin with. The poor dear seems to be so in need of professional help that I fear she may be past the point of salvageable. And the glue factory won't take her-- it would be an insult to the horses.

So you see, it wouldn't be charitable to have anything but pity for the pathetic woman.